My heart is so heavy right now. I can't sleep. It's 4:00am in the morning and for anybody that knows me, I LOVE TO SLEEP! The past three days have been so overwelming I can hardly breathe. As we have posted before, the US continues to warn those parents in process about continuing adoptions in Guatemala. There are SO MANY risks involved. We are scared to death. We have prayed and prayed, "God, you know exactly where Allie is. Lord, lead us to her. Show us where you want us to go." Our process started in December and God has shown himself to us time and time again. He has blessed us with so much that we don't deserve, but he loves us so much and knows the burning desire we have to be parents. He blessed us with a social worker who got our homestudy done quickly. He carried us through Montgomery as he approved our homestudy in ONE WEEK, come to find out recently. The US and other sources are continuing to severely warn us, it's not safe to accept a referral (be matched with a baby) from Guatemala right now. It could take years or a possible never in bringing our child home. The thought of seeing a baby girl's face, calling her my own, and then never bringing her home scares me beyond anything else. I feel like my heart is about to explode. We feel like we are going in a never ending circle. We keep ending back where we started, wondering, "Does God want us to go to Guatemala, or is he leading us somewhere else?" Yesterday we started looking again at other countries, trying to see what other options we may have. Still we keep praying, "God show us what to do. We just want to go where you are and where you have created this child for us to be born." With all the warnings and major risks, I have been preparing myself to let go of Guatemala. I have cried so much in the last 2 days that I believe my eyes are completely out of tears. How do you let go of something you feel in your heart so strongly?? I began to believe that God had another road to Allie that we must take...but he had another plan.....Two weeks ago immigration contacted us saying they never received our homestudy. One week ago they tell us that they have it and it has been entered into their system. Still, we were told to wait 2-3 months before we would receive our approval letter. Yesterday I go to the mailbox....there lies our approval letter from immigration. I sat there in my car at the mailbox and just stared at it. All of my emotions came rushing back. I bursted into tears, praying, "God, what do you want us to do? I am so AFRAID!!!" All I could hear him say was, "Stacie, I am showing you what to do. I hand delivered this letter to you today on the day YOU decided to leave Guatemala. Trust me. Don't be afraid." This letter is the last piece of paperwork we need to be matched with Allie. I don't know what is going to happen...BUT GOD DOES. Thank you God for having a plan for our lives!! Whatever happens Lord, may you recieve all the Glory! We are contacting our attorney this morning to see what the next step we need to take will be.
I'll let you know what he says. Until then, please, PLEASE, please pray for Jerry and I as we take this HUGE step of faith!!!!
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OK, I saw the sad goodbye on the board and now this. What's going on??? God is sending you a message loud and clear! Listen to what your heart says. No one can make this decision for you, just listen to your heart.
We can certainly relate to what you are going through. We started our adoption process in December as well before most of the problems in Guatemala surfaced. We accepted our referral in February. We are so scared about everything that is happening. All we can do is pray. Your situation has brought me hope. God is leading you to adopt from Guatemala even with everything that is going on. If He is still calling people to adopt from Guatemala, He has a plan to bring our children home. We will be praying for you and your daughter.
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